Conviction

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you."

Psalm 37:5

Just two months ago, I was in the middle of a Jennifer Rothschild Bible study, Walking by Faith. In the introduction to the week's homework, she asked a few questions, one being: Are you taking care of your body and health the way God expects you to?

Now, you would not want to get me started on this fitness thing. My husband is in the Air Force and it's part of his job to work out. 

But me?

 I'm a stay-at-home mom and I get my exercise from walking the kids down to the park. Or pushing them through the grocery store. Or chasing them around the house all day. Don't forget: I walk down the street to our mailbox every day, too! Isn't that enough exercise for me? I mean, lets get real here. I'm borderline underweight, so it's not like I need to work out. Even though I sometimes get out of breath making that short little trip to the mailbox ...

Hmm. 

I wrestled with these thoughts and the conviction in my heart for a couple of weeks. 

"I don't even like to exercise."

"When will I have time to exercise? I'm tired by the time Devin gets home from work. So I have to get up early?!" 

"Isn't it enough, God that I read my Bible every day? Now you want me to exercise, too?!"

It wasn't long before I couldn't fight the uneasiness in my spirit any longer. So, I found a Couch to 5k plan on Pinterest and decided I'd get up on Monday morning and go for a jog. 

I can only say one good thing about that morning.

I did a lot of praying!

I had to walk five minutes, jog two minutes, then walk five minutes. 

That's all. 

I thought I was going to die!

(Yes, I was really THAT out of shape!)

But, although it was miserable, I got up again on Wednesday and jogged.

It wasn't so bad that time. I made it through okay and I was feeling pretty proud of myself.

And then came Friday.

I was supposed to increase my jog by one minute and I couldn't do it.

I made it 30 extra seconds and had to sit down before I passed out, threw up, or both.

I felt so defeated and discouraged. I mean, I had pretty much chanted Philippians 4:13 throughout my entire jog.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! I can do ALL ... well almost everything, but not this! Why isn't this working?"

As I walked home with my head down, I felt like just giving up. Who was I kidding? I hate jogging. I hate exercise in general. I'm not good at it and I hate to do things I'm not good at!

I decided God hadn't really convicted me about my health because he wouldn't convict me to do something I couldn't do! And it was obvious ... I could NOT run!

I had myself pretty much convinced until I got into my Bible reading that afternoon and stumbled across Psalm 37:5.

"Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you."

Not some things.

Not most things.

EVERYTHING.

Even exercise.

Especially if I knew I was being convicted about it.

Devin had been telling me that I needed to sign up for a 5k and it would motivate me to finish training. So out of curiosity, I researched local 5k's for the weekend I would finish my training.

Guess what? There was a 5k in town ... and the day before that, a FREE 5k on base.

I guess that was the Lord's way of telling me to, "GET UP AND RUN."

So, here I am.

I'm at week 5 of my training and still moving along.

I've progressed from 12 minutes of exercise at a time to 30 minutes.

Walking/jogging 2 miles at least 3 times per week.

But even more exciting than my progress in jogging, is the way my relationship with the Lord has grown.

30 minutes of walking/jogging at 5:45 a.m. gives me 30 minutes of personal time with the Lord.

 I have prayed prayers I never thought to pray before.

 I have poured my heart out as I watch the sunrise over the Santa Rosa Sound, and I'm in complete awe of God's marvelous creation.

When I enter my 1 1/2 or 3 minutes of jogging, I confess sins in my heart that I normally would push under the rug. The burn in my chest and the aches in my legs seem to go numb as I let go of things and give them to God.

That bitterness in my heart? Take it Lord.

Unforgiveness? Take that too.

Selfishness? Jealousy? Insecurity? All of those things I don't even want to admit to myself?

Take it God.

I commit EVERYTHING to You and I TRUST that you will help me.

Not just with jogging, but with everything in my life.

Did God convict me to run so that I could better take care of my body?

I think that was part of the reason.

But most of all, I think the Lord convicted me to run so that I could run to HIM.