Jogging With Jesus

I was 15 years old the first time he told me no one would ever love me. With those words, my life changed. I saw myself as unlovable. I was worthless. I was unwanted. I was broken. I was dirty. Before that day, I loved myself well and I felt like I loved others well. Not to "toot my own horn," but I just had a naturally generous spirit. That still lingers in my love language today. Giving is how I both show and feel love. But something shifted in that moment.  The word love became a weapon. It became a tool to manipulate.  And it broke my heart. Suddenly, I found myself trying to earn it. No one could ever love me just for being me. They could only love what I could give or do for them. This always played itself out in one of two ways: I'd either give and give and give until I had nothing left and I was left feeling unloved and worthless ... or I would refuse to give anything at all and I was still left feeling unloved and worthle

Wisdom. It's something that everyone desires to have, and that most people already believe they have. But unfortunately, we the people often choose to say and do many unwise things. I find myself needing wisdom often, but not asking for it nearly enough. Before I speak, before I post, before I act ... did I prayerfully consider why I'm saying, posting, or doing these things? Not usually. I tend to base those decisions on how I feel in the moment ... or how I want the response to make me feel. Sometimes it ends up okay. But other times, it doesn't.  I struggle most in this area when it comes to how I speak. It's not so much that terrible words cross my lips, but more often the wrong attitude. Am I quick to complain or vent my frustrations? Am I uplifting to those around me or do I just fuel the flames of discontent? I typically find that my feelings are fleeting and the words that I've spilled don't even truly reflect my thoughts. But I respond i