“Do not become proud at that time and forget the LORD your God, who
rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt.”
Deuteronomy 8:14
To be honest, I
debated on whether or not I wanted to publish this blog post at all. It is my
heart’s desire that my jogging journey be an encouragement to others in their
walk with the Lord, but I know that no one can take me seriously if I only
publish the “good” parts and leave out the times when I fail spiritually. So
while this post may not be encouraging, I can only pray that the Lord will help
me on the path to humbleness.
After a long weekend
of walking and jogging with my dad, I skipped my maintenance run on Tuesday
because I was worn out. I intended to run on Wednesday morning, but the rain
and storms had arrived and kept me inside. But, by Wednesday evening, the rain
had temporarily cleared and I was ready to lace up my running shoes.
According to my
running plan, I’m only supposed to run two 30-minute maintenance runs during
the week and save my long runs for the weekend. If I really push myself, I can
almost finish a 5k in 30 minutes, but the weekday runs aren’t really for “pushing.”
They are more to keep me in shape. But, I decided that since I’d missed my run
on Tuesday, I would run an hour and
see just how far I could make it.
I have to say, I’ve tried
to be very patient throughout this process so that I don’t injure myself. I
finished a full 5k training plan before running a 5k. I bought the right shoes.
I researched proper form online so that I would know the right way to run. Most
of all, I sought to keep God as my center focus for running, not my actual
performance as a runner. But recently, my focus has shifted, and instead of
focusing on the Lord, I began to focus on me.
While running
yesterday evening, I found myself too distracted to pray. That should have been
my first warning sign. That hour of running should have been a wonderful
conversation with God, but instead, all I could think about was how far I could
go. I don’t think I even spoke to the Lord a total of five minutes.
After an hour, I had
successfully finished five miles, and I was feeling pretty proud of myself. I’ve
never run further than a 5k and I couldn’t believe I’d actually made it that
far. I didn’t care that I wasn’t even supposed to run five miles for another two weeks. I was just excited that I’d
made it!
Not long after
getting home, I noticed a deep pain in my hip and upper thigh. As time went on,
the pain got worse and I realized I’d actually hurt myself. I iced my leg and
took some Tylenol. At first, I was extremely disappointed that I’d pushed
myself too hard and gotten hurt, because now I couldn’t run for a few days. But
then I realized something worse. This entire journey wasn’t supposed to be
about how “good” I could run. It was supposed to be about drawing closer to the
Lord, and at that, I had failed miserably. Instead of being proud of the work
the Lord had been doing in me, I was ignoring Him completely and feeling proud
of myself.
Deuteronomy 8:14
speaks so well of the situation I’ve gotten myself into. I have become proud
and I have forgotten the Lord. If it hadn’t been for God, I would have never
started jogging in the first place. It may have taken an injury to open my
eyes, but I’m thankful that the Lord didn’t allow me to become hurt even worse.
He has given me the opportunity to turn my attention back to Him, where it’s
supposed to be.
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