Jogging With Jesus

It all started with books. As soon as I learned to read, my world began to change. When I was born, my world was small. I grew up in the Deep South. Fields for miles. Mosquitoes big enough to drain you dry. I lived in the middle of nowhere. Everyone around me looked just like me . Until I started kindergarten. As I grew older, I learned beside people who didn't look like me. But as time went on, the lines were drawn in the sand. We were "us" and they were "them." The lines were drawn with words, attitudes, and beliefs. Were there big explosions of speech and blatant actions? Yes. But most were whispers. It's easy to deny a whisper. A look. A thought. An idea. But many whispers together make a lot of noise. And the sound was deafening. The older I grew, the more books I read. Although I interacted daily with people not like me, I never listened to their voices. Not in person. But I read. I read and I read and I read. I read boo...

I was 15 years old the first time he told me no one would ever love me. With those words, my life changed. I saw myself as unlovable. I was worthless. I was unwanted. I was broken. I was dirty. Before that day, I loved myself well and I felt like I loved others well. Not to "toot my own horn," but I just had a naturally generous spirit. That still lingers in my love language today. Giving is how I both show and feel love. But something shifted in that moment.  The word love became a weapon. It became a tool to manipulate.  And it broke my heart. Suddenly, I found myself trying to earn it. No one could ever love me just for being me. They could only love what I could give or do for them. This always played itself out in one of two ways: I'd either give and give and give until I had nothing left and I was left feeling unloved and worthless ... or I would refuse to give anything at all and I was still left feeling unloved and worthle...

Wisdom. It's something that everyone desires to have, and that most people already believe they have. But unfortunately, we the people often choose to say and do many unwise things. I find myself needing wisdom often, but not asking for it nearly enough. Before I speak, before I post, before I act ... did I prayerfully consider why I'm saying, posting, or doing these things? Not usually. I tend to base those decisions on how I feel in the moment ... or how I want the response to make me feel. Sometimes it ends up okay. But other times, it doesn't.  I struggle most in this area when it comes to how I speak. It's not so much that terrible words cross my lips, but more often the wrong attitude. Am I quick to complain or vent my frustrations? Am I uplifting to those around me or do I just fuel the flames of discontent? I typically find that my feelings are fleeting and the words that I've spilled don't even truly reflect my thoughts. But I respond i...

"What do you mean, 'If I can'? Jesus asked. 'Anything is possible if a person believes." Mark 9:23 I know that it's not quite 2019 yet, but I have big goals for the upcoming year! And one of my biggest, most terrifying goals is ... ... running a sub-2 hour half marathon.   Honestly, the thought of attempting to do this terrifies me more than the thought of running a full. I am sincerely sitting here, in this moment, believing that there's no way I can run a half that fast. I really believe that I'm more likely to achieve finishing a slow 26.2 miles than I am completing a half in under 2 hours.  But I've written out the training plan to at least try. There have been many things I've told myself I can't do ... so there's no point in trying. But if I've learned anything over the last several years, it's that I'm capable of doing a lot more than I believe . God has truly shown me that He can use me to do am...

"You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross." Colossians 2:13-14 Death. Life. Two opposite sides of the spectrum.  One gives, one takes away.  One an ending, the other a beginning. Our greatest ambition: to live. Our biggest fear: to die.  How do we feel about both of these on any given day?  Some days I feel dead inside. Numb. Purposeless. Just going through the motions. Other days, I feel full of life. Overwhelmed. Purposeful. Overflowing with joy. The difference? JESUS. Every morning I wake up, and my selfish, prideful nature fights so fiercely to take control. No matter how hard I try, in my own power, I can't seem to overcome it. I can go weeks without reaching out to God, even though I know He's right there...

  "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9 30 is a milestone. I can't help but reflect over the last decade as I watch the clock click closer to my birthday. On this day ten years ago, I was scared out of my mind. I was leaving my teenage years and I'd just found out I was going to be a mother. My mom held me as I cried, realizing my childhood was officially over. I'd been determined to grow up for so long, but when the time came, I was convinced I wasn't ready. For my entire pregnancy, God drew me closer to Him than I'd ever been before. I had no choice but to lean on Him, and I felt Him promise that He had big plans for my life. I wasn't so sure I believed Him wholeheartedly, but I was at peace. Time began to pass rather quickly after that. My beautiful son was born that year, and 15 months later, in my 21st year, I became a wife. I remember being extremely sick with the stomach virus on...

  "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" Ephesians 3:20-21 It's been exactly one year since we left Florida. I can't believe a year has already passed. It's been a roller coaster for sure, but as I reflect back over the last 365 days, I can see how faithful God has been. Even when my faith wasn't the strongest, and I seriously doubted, God provided every step of the way. When we first felt the stirrings, four years ago, that God was calling us to the Pacific Northwest, God said, "I have a plan for you." When we got our official orders, and the location was Washington, God said, "This is just a peek at things to come." When we struggled to sell our house, and we felt anxious and overwhelmed, God said, "Don't you trust Me?" ...

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18 It's been over a year since I wrote in this blog. The past year has brought many life changes for our family. My husband returned from deployment and we packed up and moved across the country. I've had to adjust to a new home, a new school for my son, a new church, and new friends ... New everything. I haven't written in this particular blog because it's always been my place to share about my running journey and how my relationship with God has matured through that quiet time with Him. But over the last year or so, I haven't really been running.  And I've felt further from God than I've felt in a really long time.  At the beginning of 2017, I slowly began running again. A friend and I signed up for a half marathon and despite the sometimes awful weather here, I haven't missed a training run yet. I began to feel like I was fin...

"I look up to the mountains -- does my help come from there? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth!" Psalm 121:1-2 It's been 24 days so far. It's been a hard 24 days. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. I'm overwhelmed. I'm defeated. I feel like a failure. I feel alone. For 24 days, I've felt as though I'm barely hanging on. Some days it seems impossible to juggle all of the things I need to do.  I feel guilty for doing anything I actually want to do.  I finally semi-adjusted to being a full-time teacher and then our entire routine was flipped upside-down. Just 3 days later, we found out we're moving. Moving?! And not just moving ... But moving across the country. I've walked around in a state of shock for a couple of weeks now.  When anyone asks me how I feel about it, I don't know how to answer. Am I sad? YES! We've made a home here! We just...

"Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done." Psalm 105:1  Although this is supposed to be a "jogging" blog, my post today will not be about jogging. It will instead be about a huge blessing the Lord has given our family.  Around a year ago, Jack started preschool. We had him enrolled in a Christian preschool at a local Methodist church, and he absolutely loved it! His teachers were amazing, he had a great group of classmates, and most of all, Jack loved learning about God. He loved it so much, it was the first thing he asked his teacher at orientation. "When are we going to learn about God?" I have to take a moment here to explain something. I grew up in a small town in Arkansas and public school is all I've ever known. I even decided on a public university over a private Christian university when I attended college. My degree is in early childhood education and most of our emphasis wa...

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised." Proverbs 31:30 While perusing Facebook this evening, I read an interesting blog post. The title was "Why Christian Girls Post Seductive Selfies." It really got me thinking.  Where was this post when I was in high school? College? But even if it had been around, would I have read it? Listened? Heeded it's advice? Probably not.  I was that girl. Almost desperate for attention from the opposite sex, it reflected in the way I dressed and often in the way I acted. "Selfies" weren't what we called them, but I definitely knew how to take the "right" picture. I hear a lot these days that parents should control and monitor how their daughters dress/act/etc. And that's true, to an extent. Christian parents are judged and berated by other Christians for not "having a handle on th...

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-9 I know I've already written a blog post today, but I've had an epiphany.  Are you ready for it? Here it goes.  I. AM. NOT. PERFECT. Don't tell me you already knew that?  Okay, you did. And I knew it too.  I just haven't been living like it. You see, I have this problem. I have this tendency to try so very hard to be perfect ... and when I fail, because I always will... I condemn myself.  I feel defeated. I feel guilty. Why CAN'T I be the perfect wife? The perfect mom? The perfect daughter? The perfect sibling? The perfect friend? The perfect Christian? Oh that's right. I'm not God. And let's be honest, I have a head knowledge of that.  I know that realistically, I can...

"Be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:58 This has been an awesome week for me, as far as running goes! Last Wednesday, I ran a 5k on base and although I didn't PR on my 5k time, I DID PR on my 2 mile time! (18:57!) It was an extremely hot race, but I can tell that I'm slowly getting faster and stronger! While running, God brought Isaiah 40:31 to mind, "But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint!" It was just what I needed! Yesterday, I surprised myself AGAIN by breaking my 1.5 mile and 2 mile records! (13:11 and 17:51!) I almost threw up afterward, but I was pretty excited! The current training I'm doing is preparing me to pass an Army PT test. (No, I'm NOT joining the Army!) My goal was to run 2 miles in under 18 minutes and I did it! I've also started cr...

"You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." I Peter 3:4  What an eventful month it has been! I challenged myself to run 100km in June and I can't believe it ... I actually succeeded! Don't ask what possessed me to take on that challenge in one of the hottest months of the year. I'm really not sure! In other exciting news, I finally ran a mile faster than my goal of 8:30! I finished a mile this past Saturday in 8:23. Not only that, but I kept running! I finished 1.5 miles in 13:43 and 2 miles in 19:03. It was a very happy day for me! And lastly, I finally got a hybrid bicycle! I can't wait to start cross training ... and trying something new while talking to God! While doing my Bible reading today, I came across I Peter 3:4, "You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of ...

"Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." Psalm 55:22 My 100km challenge is going so well! So far, I've run at least 2 miles every single day of June, except the 6th. But I made up for it by running a 10k on Saturday morning. So far, I've finished 24 miles this month. Just 38 left to go! This past weekend, I started to feel very overwhelmed. Sometimes I personally put way too much on my plate and when I feel like I can't get it all done, I break down a little.  Okay, a lot. My daughter's birthday party is coming up soon, my son started science camp this week, I'm teaching Zoo Zone for the month of June, we have family coming into town this week, and on top of all that, my husband is on swing shift! On Saturday morning, 6.2 miles were EXACTLY what I needed to release some stress! While talking to God, I realized that a lot of my stress really comes from me.  ...

"Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air." 1 Corinthians 9:26 A lot of things have happened for me, as far as running goes, the past few days. Sunday night, I beat my mile record by 5 seconds! I really tried to beat 8:30 but it just didn't happen. I finished in 8:52, but I was still so excited to pass 8:57! I haven't even come close since last year! I also dedicated myself to a 100km in June challenge! That's 62.137 miles! But more than the distance, that's 2 miles with God daily! On Sunday, I ran with my praise and worship music for the first time in a long time. My iPod has been dead and sometimes I enjoy it just being me, the road, and the Lord. But one song came on and touched my heart in particular.  "For all of this life Your Spirit ignites A heavenly fire Untouched by the night You opened our eyes Turned death into life Revealing all truth There's no on...

"With God's help we will do mighty things ... " Psalm 60:12a Last night, I was able to run my sixth 5k since I began this jogging journey. When I say ran, I literally mean ran! I was able to run the ENTIRE 3.1 miles without walking for the first time, ever! Although I really wanted to break 30 minutes, my main goal was to finish a 5k with no walking and I did it! I'm so thankful for my sweet friend Mallory, who is a 5k beast, for staying with me and encouraging me to keep going! We were able to keep a 10:04 pace and finished in 31:01. A new personal record for me! Every time I run a race, I'm so thankful that the Lord convicted me last year to make fitness a priority in my life. When I run, I'm only able to finish because of God's help. Psalm 60:12 literally speaks right to my heart. With God's help, I can do mighty things. Whether it be running a race, teaching my children, being a friend, or loving my husband, with God's he...

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31 I feel like I've started my last several blogs with, "I know it's be awhile..." and it's true. When I got out of my regular running routine, I got out of my blogging routine. I've also found that I'm a lot more motivated when I'm self-motivated . When no one was reading this blog, I wrote a lot more often.  After the Disney Princess Half, my running schedule was pretty much nonexistent. My husband was getting ready for a PT test and then went through five weeks of ALS, so it was really hard to find time to run. I have to give myself a little credit, though. I hate pushing the jogging stroller, but since that's the only way I've been able to go running lately, I've been doing it. Even though it's tough, my daughter loves going, so that in itself is worth it! She's become quite an avid bird watcher! :) I...